Jiri’s Notepad

This book review is a part of the series on architects’ soft skills.

The title of this book is self explanatory. If you work for a large organisation, you probably don’t have too much choice over who you you work with and sometimes you have to rub along with people you would rather strangle.

Brinkman and Kirschner, the authors of the book, point out nine stereotypes of problematic people: aggressive pushy, take no-prisoners, tank; sarcastic and rude comments dropper - the sniper; someone who gets off on a rant unexpectedly - the grenade; the know-it-all; someone who only thinks they know it all; person who can’t say no - the yes person; someone who cannot make a decision - the maybe person; a person who is not giving any feedback - the nothing person; ‘it will never work’ no person and the whiner. The book provides some theory behind these stereotypical behaviour, and the basic structure on how to deal with the difficult types, but its biggest contribution (and its biggest part) are the specific points and examples it provides on how to deal with individual stereotypes.

I actually had an ‘opportunity’ to try out some of the things from the book and it worked pretty well. My nemesis was a ‘he thinks he knows it all’ colleague with whom I had to spend two or three years on a large project. Admittedly, we did not become best friends, but I had a reasonable success in getting along with him.

People You Can’t Stand is useful because it provides a basic template and examples for communication with a wide variety of people not be that you use every day. It becomes invaluable in case you get ‘lucky’ and have to deal with someone who is difficult for extended period of time. In case you are interested and want to learn more, you can see parts of the book via Amazon reader; or you can look someone’s reading notes on this book.